11.1.09 – Scarred History

I was at the gym earlier today and was flipping through women’s magazines. What caught my eye were four mentions of scar erasers via creams or lasers. While, like most women, I am doing my best to defy the aging process, I tend to rarely notice the few scars I have.

One I received when I was very young, which has now lightened to a small crescent moon shape near my right thumb. I had stuck my hand in a wringer washing machine, I’m assuming out of curiosity. The only thing I remember about the incident was my mother, who would be about my age now, being in such a state of panic she was unable to do anything. Fortunately my older sister was there and unplugged the machine, so I am able to use both hands to type this blog entry.

Another scar, on the same hand, I received eight years ago, although I can’t seem to recall what I did to cut myself. I was frantically getting ready to go on a trip to visit someone who I had convinced myself I was in love with. The reality was I needed an escape from the life I was living and it seemed far easier at the time to escape into someone else than to figure out what was really missing in my life.

The most recent scar is one my left arm. My car antennae broke off and I never bothered to replace it as I can still get the classical radio station I like even with it being broken. I was once again in a frantic state getting umpteen things done before going to my beginning Tai Chi class and scraped my arm against the broken antennae. It seemed to dawn on me then that it defeated the purpose of the outcome of Tai Chi to be rushing to get there. While I do still seem to always be on the run, I am starting to feel less rushed and have allowed myself to let things fall as they may or to be late if that’s what needs to happen.

I’m not sure I would want these scars removed. I think some history should be remembered.

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