10.31.09 – Shadow Play

It’s interesting how something commonplace, or even ugly, can be so easily transformed by shadows.

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10.30.09 – Wishing I Was Somewhere Else

RIGHT NOW.

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10.29.09 – The Prize

Like most people these days, I’m looking to reduce my budget. I’ve decided to cancel my cable subscription. At first I was a bit sad about this until I realized I hadn’t watched any TV in a couple of weeks, and the few network shows I do like (Castle, The Daily Show, Masterpiece on PBS) are now available online. The last few times I did surf through the channels, I experienced a mixture of bewilderment and disgust. With the multitude of television stations and web channels it’s really not that hard anymore to get on TV, yet people are willing to make complete idiots out of themselves for a t-shirt. When did we lose our sense of reason?

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10.28.09 – Fear of the Unknown

It’s easy to get frightened and imagine something horrible when you don’t know what’s on the other side.

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10.27.09 – Bouquet

I think I needed this today.

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10.26.09 – Seeing Through the Trees

If you push your way through you can make it out of the wilderness.


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10.25.09 – Barriers

I’ve always been good about putting up barriers to keep myself safe, but often they just get in the way and become exhausting to remove. It takes a great deal of work and gasping to peel them away.

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10.24.09 – Parallel Universe

Have you ever had a day (or a week, or a month, or a year, etc.) where nothing seemed to go right? Things that you’d done over and over again suddenly were lost to you. It’s almost as if you’ve been transported to some parallel universe where things look the same, but they’re really not.

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10.23.09 – Enabling

There are lots of books about toxic work environments that explain the different personality types in the office. Usually there is advice on how to deflect these people or at least come out of the situation unscathed. For me the most dangerous type is the enabler. This is the person who no matter what their competency (or lack there of), they tend to rise in the organization. A smart and crafty enabler will become “one” with the top person, saying exactly what he/she wants to hear and trying to create precisely what the person wants. Problems arise when the top person is either flat out incompetent or deeply misguided. Instead of saving the person from himself/herself, the enabler helps push them off the cliff while trying to keep their own balance.

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10.22.09 – Inner Strength

In 2004 I resigned from an organization who’s leader, I believed, showed a great many similarities to George W. Bush (and that’s not a good thing). I felt doubly hurt when Bush was reelected later that year because of this. Five years later and now both men are out of office, yet I don’t feel satisfied. How can you feel a sense of triumph when said people don’t see the reality of their circumstances?

I find the older I get the more I realize it takes a very strong person to not get stuck in the blame game. It takes true inner strength to see your own shortcomings and not be shattered by the turmoil around you.


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10.21.09 – Whining

The more you whine, the more likely you'll end up sounding like a cross between a Charlie Brown adult character, Scooby Doo, and Dino from The Flintstones.

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10.20.09 – Not a Safe Position

Sticking your head in the ground may shield you from the storm for a little while, but it’s not a safe position to be in for the long term.

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10.19.09 – Is it really beginning to look like Christmas?

I’m not much of a shopper these days and was surprised recently when I went in some stores and saw nothing but Christmas items and decorations. I don’t even feel ready for Halloween and yet Christmas is being forced down our throats. It’s hard to muster the excitement.

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10.18.09 – The Worst Part of Fall

Is there no escaping football?

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10.17.09 – Window on the World

No matter what the weather, I would prefer to be inside. Usually what gets me out is growing tired of my clutter and my windows. Seeing the world from someone else’s windows always looks so different, and usually so much better.

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10.16.09 -- Can Plants Hear?

Why is it that one plant in one room can be dying a quick death, while another in a different room is growing long enough that it might escape? Could the Hemi-Sync meditation cds played in the latter be the cause? Something to think about.

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10.15.09 -- The Inner Critic

If you read enough self-help books or books on creativity, you hear about “the critic.” This isn’t a real critic who critiques your work, but that little voice inside your head that constantly is telling you what you’ve done wrong, why you shouldn’t bother doing new things, and that you’ll never amount to anything so you might as well give up and go back to your old life and old way of thinking.

My voice always speaks very slowly, and has a soft, extremely feminine voice, which probably has a lot to do with growing up surrounded by unhappy women who had clearly given up on their dreams.

Don’t listen to the voice!

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10.14.09 -- Baptism

I’ve never been officially baptized. My academic advisor in college, who was a devout Catholic, was quite troubled by this and told me I’d be going to limbo. That didn’t seem that bad to me. Of course, this was also the same professor who didn’t have us read Dante’s Paradise in our literature class, stating none of us would be going there.

A drunken former Seminarian attempted to baptize me in the dorms, but I’m not sure that counts.

A friend of mine just returned from Portugal and gave me a lovely statue of Fátima with the blessed water (go to this link to read more about Fátima: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_Fatima). I wonder if it’s possible to baptize yourself.

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10.13.09

Some days it’s hard to know which end is up. You just have to try all sides to figure it out.

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10.12.09

I think about the phrase “to put some light on the subject” at times. Not enough and too much can make it impossible to see what’s going on. You have to have the right amount of light at just the right angle to truly see all.

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10.11.09

I like the early evening, before it becomes pitch black. The light begins to take on a magical quality and it still feels like it's possible to get things done before night falls.

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10.10.09 -- Ladder to Success

How structurally sound is the ladder to success?

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10.9.09 -- Light the Way

I suppose we all need something to light the way for us.

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10.8.09 -- Which is more real?

Which is more real – reality or make believe?

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10.7.09 -- Russia

I studied Byzantine art in graduate school, which ended up evolving into Russian icons. I have no idea why either fascinated me, as I’m not religious, nor am I Russian. Over time I amassed a strange collection of Russian or Russian-inspired items. Perhaps it’s the rich, diverse, and ever evolving history of the people and country that really is the most intriguing thing, rather than their religion at a fixed point in time.

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10.6.09

I’ve been thinking a lot about color lately. Different times of the year or points in my life I’ve wanted different colors around me, either to wear or just to see. Something as simple as muting the color can change the vibrations of the energy around me.

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10.5.09

Growing up in Florida, there were no basements and, as most homes were traditional ranch styles, no second floors. This left me, as a child, to hide under the house, as it was slightly raised due to the potential of flooding. I hadn't developed my fear of bugs yet, so it was a wonderful sanctuary from my family. The only problem was when you look up at things from the ground they tend to appear larger and rather overwhelming. It's much better to look down from above. Then the world appears smaller and less terrifying.

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10.4.09

It was so much simpler when all you had to do in the afternoon was stare at clouds.

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10.3.09

Some days nothing is in focus.

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10.2.09

I try to accept that the changes with technology are a good thing, but sometimes we do lose out when items become obsolete. I remember how exciting it was when my father got a Polaroid camera when I was young. It seemed like utter magic to hear that unique sound, and then watch the picture pop out of the camera, and finally watch with amazement at the image slowly developing.

Kids growing up now won’t experience that. True, the digital cameras produce a better image and you can then print to a printer with sharper details and brighter colors (of course having the Polaroid film in the refrigerator for who knows how many years don’t do it justice), but there is something lacking in picture taking for me now. Maybe it’s that the magic has gone.

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10.1.09

Sometimes seeing something too close is just that – too close to fully comprehend what you’re seeing.

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